WEEK 3, ASSIGNMENT 1: REVISED THESIS STATEMENT POST TO THE DISCUSSION AREA A REVISED THESIS STATEMENT AND AN ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY CONTAINING A MINIMUM OF FOUR SCHOLARLY SOURCES.
WEEK 3, ASSIGNMENT 1: REVISED THESIS STATEMENT POST TO THE DISCUSSION AREA A REVISED THESIS STATEMENT AND AN ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY CONTAINING A MINIMUM OF FOUR SCHOLARLY SOURCES.
Week 3, Assignment 1: Revised Thesis Statement

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By Saturday, March 12, 2016, post to the Discussion Area a revised thesis statement and an annotated bibliography containing a minimum of four scholarly sources.
At this point, you have received a good deal of feedback on your topic in general and on your thesis statement specifically. After completing your research proposal last module, you should have a solid vision of the argument you plan to make in your essay. Now, take all of that information and revise your thesis statement accordingly, incorporating any relevant feedback from your classmates and instructor as well as any new ideas or perspectives youve developed as you have delved further into your research.
In addition to your revised thesis statement, you will also post an annotated bibliography consisting of four scholarly sources. These four sources must be peer-reviewed and current. You may use sources you included in your tentative bibliography, or you may need to do further research to find new sources.
An annotated bibliography consists of a reference citation in APA format, followed by an annotation, or explanation, of how the source relates specifically to the thesis statement and supporting points. For the purpose of this assignment, your annotations should briefly summarize your source and explain exactly how the source will be used to support your thesis statement. Each annotation should be three to four sentences long. Below is an example of an annotated bibliography entry for one source:
http://threadcontent.next.ecollege.com/CurrentCourse/AUO_ENG101_Citation_1.jpg
By the end of the module, comment on at least two of your classmates’ submissions. Your replies to classmates should be made with the intent to expand, clarify, defend, and/or refine their thoughts. You may comment on the strength of your classmates thesis statements, the APA formatting of references, or the descriptions of how each source will be used to support the thesis statement. Always use constructive language, and avoid negative language. You should work toward a tone and spirit of intellectual curiosity and discovery.
Your responses to your peers’ writing should be a good paragraph in length and should include specifics from the text if you are attempting to make a point. Remember, any information you use from another source (including the class textbooks) must be accompanied with an APA formatted in-text citation and reference entry.
Before you begin to write your discussion answers, think about the points made in the lecture regarding answering discussion questions. All of your answers must be in complete sentence form, and you should avoid plagiarism at all costs by citing the readings correctly and composing your own original responses. Responses that copy ideas from the Internet or from another student will be considered plagiarism and will be treated as such.
WHAT I SUBMITTED¦
Revised Thesis Statement
I need your assistance, as Im torn between which revised thesis to use. Please read both, and tell me which one you think sounds better while staying true to what a thesis should be. Thank you in advance.
While some feel that compromising on individual rights to privacy would hinder personal space and give government a chance to spy on citizens, national security is more important as safety of citizens cannot be compromised.
While compromising on individual rights to privacy would hinder personal space, national security cannot be compromised on account of individual right.
National security would continue to remain a priority and if in order to avoid terrorists attacks government need to enter into our personal space, it should be granted permission and citizen should help the government do the task. Too much of spying would bother the citizens and it should take care of. The personal data obtained from the citizens should be kept with secrecy and it should be maintained at a place where hackers cannot attack. It can be done by making sure all the data is not kept at one place but it is divided so that the danger of getting hacked and its potential affects can be minimized.
The government sometimes uses the Patriot law as the justification to over spy the citizens and while doing so the private lives of the citizens gets screwed. They are constantly under the notion that someone is watching over them. If a balance is made between the surveillance and the right to privacy, both the parties would be in a win- win situation and there would be nothing to lose. Government in this situation would carry out necessary procedures mandatory to ensure security and citizens would contribute towards this.
References
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